Written by: Maria Biasutti

Recently, I ordered a dining table from an online store. It was delivered and my husband unboxed it while I was busy working in my office. A little bit later, he calls out to me and says, “I think we’re missing parts”. So I go upstairs and look at everything with him and lo and behold the actual table legs and feet were completely missing.

This was a huge crush of disappointment and annoyance. Now, we’re currently waiting for two different potential solutions to solve our problem of our family having no table to eat on potentially for weeks. As we wait, the dining table top sits on the kitchen floor calling to be used. This weekend comes along and I begin doing my usual morning routine. I usually get up early before the kids to have some quiet time for myself with my coffee and my journal or a book. I always sit at the dining table and look outside to watch the birds or look at my garden too. As I finished making my coffee, the darn dining table popped into my mind reminding me that I would not get a chance to do what I enjoyed doing every morning. Frustrated, I put my coffee and breakfast down and I walked over around my kitchen and just stared in disbelief at the table on the floor. Sadness and disappointment suddenly hit me because I realized I wouldn’t have an opportunity to enjoy my morning routine, something that helps me start my day and give me back time to care for myself. And then, I realized this whole past week, my family has not been able to sit and eat together. We’ve been finding random seats around the house or standing at the kitchen counter to eat. I haven’t had a chance to talk to the kids about how their day was at school during our dinner times. And the night before, I had cooked up their favourite Filipino dish but our usual experience eating it together with the dish at the centre of our table for sharing was gone.

Now, I know this is temporary and all I have to be is patient in waiting for the table legs to arrive. But imagine what our seniors feel like when they go to the dining room and it doesn’t quite feel or look like their space or home. What if they didn’t feel like this is a space where they can express themselves or maybe enjoy their own mealtime routine? Remember that people eat in so many different ways. And we come to the dining table for so many different reasons. Do we realize that, whether you’re living at home or in a care home, people still continue to want to have a mealtime routine or have an expectation of what their dining experience should be like?

I wondered if our seniors have felt the same as I did, with disappointment and sadness at the missed opportunity to connect with others around the table or maybe even to do their own breakfast routine like me? Although, their situation may not be temporary like mine.

Food and the mealtime experience is the core of our humanity - enriching our lives, nourishing our souls, defining who we are, and helping us feel connected to one another. Whenever we come to the table, we celebrate ourselves and each other with the reward of a delicious meal. And the dining table is the centre of where these experiences begin. Through reflection, I’ve come to appreciate why my team and I remain deeply committed to supporting long-term care homes achieve this each day. I see myself being a resident one day and wanting to get up before everyone else does, take my journal and coffee with me to an inviting and comfortable dining table where I could look out to a garden and write while I nibble on my toast with cream cheese and jam. That’s all I know I need for myself and if I could at least help achieve this for my future self, I will do everything I can now to make a difference. I believe even small changes can make a difference and beginning with inviting our residents to be part of figuring out those changes with us, could give us the answers we didn’t know we needed.

For now, I will patiently wait for the table legs to arrive and the opportunity to once again enjoy my breakfast in peace.